I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This baby is an asshole
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize