I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
