You're my little dorito
I have demons in me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
