hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
