And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize