I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
