The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
