You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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