We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
