WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
