for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
