He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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