:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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