turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
