I haven't been this sober since birth.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
