Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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