how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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