my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
