We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
