It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
