Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
