it wasn't lemon gatorade
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
