I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
