At least make sure they are 18
Why
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
