all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
