Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
