glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
