No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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