Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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