The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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