So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just found puke in my bra..
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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