just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize