Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
