We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
