White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
