so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
God, I missed his penis.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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