i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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