with your own penis?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
