i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
