We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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