yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
