I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
