it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
