Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What a dumb baby whore.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
