I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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