Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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