i jhust puked up my retainher.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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