Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
