I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
