I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
