Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
