so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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