I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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