So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
