nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
