Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
