Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
