how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
