I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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