the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
