why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
