I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
